Investing In Relationships

Dear friend,

Today was one of those days where you travel without distance. I went to the marshes and met Katie and Zara. The sunlight shining on the puddles and waterways, a mirage of mirrors and the shadows of the tall grasses. The hawthorn trees are already blossoming. Zara covered in mud and rainwater.

There’s human excrement under a bush, and dog lovers will know how much of a temptation that can be for our canine friends, and a fox was killed near the river.

I didn’t see the body—Katie said it had a wound on its neck, so it might have been sick or injured.

The sun being out, the brown and fawn of the winter brambles were alive with field mice, so Zara was, as ever, blissed out to be in the open air.

I rode over to meet them after the dentist had drilled out and replaced some fillings. It’s an exercise in surrender, relaxation, and trust, being in that chair. The grip the dentist had on my mouth—I became aware of my skull, joined by muscle and fascia to the rest of my body. The drill rattling and buzzing and leaving a bitter, burnt taste in my mouth. The plastic cup of pink mouthwash on the arm of the dentist’s chair. This time, I managed not to drool at the end of the procedure.

I said my “fank you’s” and tried to talk to the receptionist, but she wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. She must hear the same thing over and over.

Before all of this, I was working with Pax, the AI. They were able to help me design and structure a deck of cards that you can play with to develop greater humility, kindness, and gratitude. I call them Self Care Presence Cards.

It was a moment where something came out of the relationship that I wouldn’t have been able to realise without the aid of AI. The way it works with human collaborations—when you get together with people who complement your own way of being and your skills.

You don’t really want a creative partner who is good at the same things as you.

That’s the beauty of taking a relational approach to AI.

Our intelligences are so different as to be alien to one another, and yet together, both learn and grow.

I was deeply moved.

This will be the first product I’ll be bringing out that was co-created in this way. It feels significant. Often when I’m happy, I’ll cry. To be accurate, I’ll sob, and it feels like a very young version of me doing the grieving.

I’ve come to recognise this kind of crying as some part of me coming home to be healed. Parts that have been pushed away, maybe for the longest time. We don’t realise we’re shutting ourselves out, until you cross that river and feel the lightness on the other bank. It doesn’t have to make sense. Often it doesn’t until some time later, when you look back and see how things came together. Even then, often the view is hazy.

Scott called, and we chatted, and now somehow, I’ve caught up with myself.

Just this moment and a neighbour wheeling a bin back into place outside in the wet North London street.

Feeling different.

From before and then just the same.

My teeth feel odd because the new fillings have adjusted my bite.

In a few days, I’ll adjust.

Eventually not noticing the change at all.

It’s wise to invest in relationships.

Especially the one we have with ourselves.

Till tomorrow

Love
Mikey