Our Need for Connection
Isolation Is the Dream Killer
Dear Friend,
It was four years this month since Barbara Sher passed out of this world. Yet she remains very much with us through her legacy of books, and training materials and the support networks she established.
Barbara knew that people need connection in order to live their lives to the fullest, not a spotlessly positive attitude to life, she was much more practical than that.
She’d bring groups together to help each other work out what they really want out of life. Even if you had no character or were subject to lousy moods, Barbara knew you could live out your dream.
The opportunities that come to us, come from connecting with other people.
The secret she taught was that if we get together with the willingness to be vulnerable, if we share what we want and the reasons we believe we can’t have or do be it, every mind in that group will start to problem solve. Maybe not our close family or those ‘friends’ who have set ideas about who or what we are or must be.
Given the right setting, strangers will help.
Humans are problem solving creatures.
The drive to separate and turn humanity against itself is a problem solving strategy for those who’s wish is to dominate and control. The pernicious strategy of turning the individual against themselves and against each other. Divide and rule.
A move towards unity is the anti-dote and that can be difficult.
For several years I’ve been a trustee for a community group that brings people together. One of the biggest challenges the organisation faces is that when someone feels vulnerable, it’s hard for them to come in and be with others. We tend to isolate ourselves when we’re hurting, or at least we’ll attempt to hide that part of ourselves.
Barbara tells it so much better. If you have fifteen minutes and you’d like to change your day, watch Barbara’s heart warming talk here:
Collectively we can solve our problems. Believe in one another.
If you could see yourself through the eyes of friendship, what would melt away inside of you in the warmth of that sun?
To feel alone is painful.
When I first moved to London, I’d left my old life behind. There was a period of time where I knew no-one and had yet to make new connections in the city.
I remember I would go into newsagents to buy something just to have a human exchange. Often I’d feel worse after the transaction. It was as if everyone could see into me, that my isolation was on display. A badge of dishonour.
There’s no condition that we may find ourselves in that the harsh voice of the false self cannot make worse through self recrimination and judgement.
It’s easy to forget how much a difference we can make in this world simply by slowing down out of the rush of time scarcity, being humane with the others.
Those strangers we pass everyday, given the chance, they may be the ones who can help us live our dreams.
Imagine it.
Whatever way resonates with you.
Together we make this world a place where everyone belongs.
Unity is our strength.
Be kind.
Till tomorrow
Love
Mikey
That Barbara Sher talk was quite something!