Dear Friend,
I’m wondering if the summer will purr into action, bathe us in her warm days and balmy nights. The skies are rich and pregnant with rain and the wind this morning dislodged a single pink rose petal. I watched it fly and dip beneath the grey sun worn fencing at the bottom of our garden, unnoticed I imagine by anyone else.
These private intimate moments, the plants dancing in the wind. You notice the world in a different way when there is inner silence.
It struck me how my mind is pulled to search for something to chew on almost as soon as I open my eyes. I count myself lucky I have the luxury of sitting at the kitchen table, digesting a book, sipping a coffee and watching the lone dance of a rose petal.
I’ve gradually and methodically committed to undoing my false self over the years. It’s slow work and easily stalled plus it’s counter intuitive to our culture. Instead of building yourself up, you’re letting go. First you’re letting go of the negative images you have of yourself so you can be kinder and less self critical, and then to your amazement you’re letting go of the positive images you’ve created.
You let them co-exist, come and go. Positive and negative. You realise that non of the images are you. It’s a dance of energies.
You are something else.
The conscious energy that’s behind the images. The stillness from which all the activity springs. Soul. Words can only be pointers. It doesn’t really matter if they come from east or west, ancient or modern.
Sometimes images over power with fear and apprehension. A dream that lingers. Sometimes the false self is back with vengeance and I hear myself repeating phrases my father spoke in anger. At other times, like this morning, a rose bush is enough to bring you home to the present moment.
The Japanese maple catching my eye as the winds increase and the barking dogs behind us merge with muffled human voices and the throaty revving of a petrol engine out front. The thrum of the vibrations run through me.
It’s so different to be in this state of mind to how it was and then again, paradoxically nothing has changed.
I guess paradox is a cornerstone to non duality.
It’s wise to speak and act truthfully.
But it’s not always possible.
I don’t always know what I’m writing to you, even though I think I should convey some kind of message. Sometimes the words just come. It feels most risky when there is no censoring.
Zara is resigned on the rug. How does she measure the passing of time? Maybe the sensations in her body, when she just has to move, then it’s time to move. She tenses all of her muscles, paws curling takes a deep breath, then letting go she relaxes. Like a yogi.
Thanks for sticking with the posts. Less of us are reading, but that’s not the point. It’s good to let things go. This mania for more is also up for surrendering.
What happens when we let go of all preconceptions?
The fear perhaps is we’ll be abandoned by life.
The world’s wisdom traditions say otherwise.
That by letting go of who we think we are we meet ourselves unmasked.
With Love
Till tomorrow
Mikey