The False Self Isn’t The Enemy

It’s Just Not Meant to Be In Charge

Dear Friend,

The false self isn’t the enemy.

It’s just not mean’t to be in charge.

The idea that things are supposed to go the way we want them to, all the time, and that when they don’t something is wrong.

That’s an unrealistic world view.

Seductive though.

No-one is immune to challenging circumstances. It’s how we meet the challenges that makes the difference.

Typically we’re not aware when we allow the false self to rule the show.

The false self is incredibly adaptive, and an omnivorous master of smoke and mirrors.

It will feed on the idea of superiority, that I am cleverer for example, or more virtuous or elevated somehow above others.

Better than.

It happily feeds in the idea that I’m worse than others too. Misunderstood or badly treated. Defective in some way. There’s juice in mental suffering. Seeing yourself as above or better than other people is a form of suffering, because you’re surrounded. Zombies and ravenous predators, wailing and snarling in the dark. Coming to get you, or at least bumping into you and getting in your way.

Now attack and defend is the game and guess who’s game that is?

Seeing yourself as below others, a joke, a failure, a nobody is a different kind of energy but still food for the false self.

Ego may be an omnivore, but some foods are off menu.

It can’t feed on equanimity, unity, compassion and forgiveness. No calories. Not a single one.

The feeling of being safe in your own skin, in the right place at the right time. How rare is that feeling in the world right now?

When does it come to you?

My experience is that peace comes as I’m in the challenge, saying yes to it - even though it comes as an uninvited guest, wishing it away has never worked for me.

The false self has a two pronged plan for peace. It won’t work and that’s the point of the plan:

“When the outside is lined up exactly as I say it should be, when I am firmly established as ruler of the universe, then I will have peace.”

It sounds ridiculous when you hear it like that. But isn’t it the way we think when we’re feeling disconnected and afraid?

Or, it could be:

“I just want everything and everyone to go away and leave me alone and then I will have peace.”

But if we don’t have a sense of something good that is with us and in us and all around and in all things, we get lonely. We don’t feel safe in our isolated forest hut because Zombies and predators are lurking in the foliage at the edge of the clearing. Snarling and complaining in the shadows. They’re still coming to get us.

Better than or worse than, two sides of the same counterfeit currency. A false promise embossed on both sides. Heads you lose, tails you lose.

Cultivating peace on the inside first is an alternative plan so that eventually we begin to see the outside differently.

Forgiveness and compassion are its bedrock.

Adamantly refusing to take one’s own judgements seriously. Letting them go as quickly as they arise. Allowing the body weep for the injustices in the world. Tears - rain for the desert. Deliberately appreciating the good in the small things invites in the sunshine that makes the green things grow.

The challenges we need to meet perhaps won’t be how to bring about world peace. It’s more likely to be meeting your personal need for peace in this moment.

Breaking down onerous tasks into bite size chunks.

Turning off the sewer of the media long enough for your internal eco system to recover. For fish and coral to return to the rivers and oceans within.

Planting saplings of compassion and present moment awareness. Breathing in and out. Moving and stretching your body. Eating well, getting some sleep.

It depends on what’s less present for you right now.

If it’s too tight and there’s no fun, maybe you need to cut loose and have some fun.

Too loose and no structure?

Maybe you need to study something that nourishes you and work out a basic plan of action.

Working a plan your soul knows and will reveal in the right time and place, in a way that is right for you.

Meeting our neighbours, including them in an ever growing awareness of community and connectedness with the plants and the creatures and the earth and the sky.

Creatures ourselves, inside creation, not standing apart.

Messing up over and over again.

That’s the human part.

Till tomorrow

Love

Mikey